Ever find yourself dying to approach a beautiful woman you saw somewhere but you didn’t have the slightest clue how to do it — let alone the nerve to even try? If so, I can guarantee you this: Just the thought of trying makes your heart race and palms sweat. But guess what — it doesn’t have to be that way. Here are the top 10 ways to guarantee a successful approach every time.
10. Stop fearing rejection
Plain and simple: Your fear of rejection is your worst enemy — yet it usually just doesn’t happen. The fact is, a beautiful woman won’t scream and run away from you. She won’t point you out to her friends and laugh. She won’t turn into a monster from hell and cut you down.
The truth is, most attractive women will respond somewhere between neutral and positive to being approached because you’re doing something that makes them feel good. It’s flattering, exciting and fun, and for that reason alone you’ll almost never see a woman respond by getting upset, being rude or acting offended. So stop worrying about it, and stop letting fear of rejection ruin your chances before you even try.
9. Don’t ask for her number. Instead, do this…
Once you know how to get a woman’s contact info, the rest of what it takes to “get the date” practically takes care of itself. That’s why the first step to becoming a Zen master when it comes to getting women’s numbers is to understand that you shouldn’t be asking for numbers at all… you should be asking for their e-mail instead.
Most women will give up their e-mail much more quickly and easily because they consider it low-risk, easy and businesslike. Best of all, once she’s already writing her e-mail down for you, it’s easy to ask her to jot down her phone number while she’s at it.
More on that in a bit. But first…
8. Try the “Do you have a card?” variation
If you want to try something different, you can also try this classy, extremely low-risk way to ask a woman for her contact info.
Of course, a lot of women don’t have business cards, so you’re going to need a funny, charming, smooth follow-up for when she says, “I don’t have one.” Try something like: “Well, write one up for me right now, I’ll wait…” Then, take out a pen and a small piece of paper and hand it to her. Most likely, she’ll be feeling the fun of the situation right away and start playing along. (And, if you have a card, you can always impress the hell out of her by handing her yours instead.)
7. Act fast
Once a woman says, “OK, you can have my e-mail” (which is usually asure thing), you need to be ready to act. Without fumbling or missing a beat, you need to pull out a pen and hand it to her. If you hem and haw and lag, she’ll immediately smell “dork,” and possibly change her mind.
Like I said, just as she’s writing down her e-mail address, you tack on: “Oh, and be sure to write your name and number there, too…” By waiting until she’s in the middle of writing, you’ll get the rest of her info because, at this point, she’s already “committed.” She’s made an emotional decision to allow you to contact her, so she’s likely to just keep writing. And like magic, you have her name and number too.
6. Be ready for anything
Listen, probably half to two-thirds of the time, a woman will just write down her e-mail for you, no problem. In fact, it’s amazing how easily women will give out their e-mail addresses.
But of course, there will be a few times that you’ll meet with someresistance. A woman will say something like, “I don’t give out my e-mail to people I don’t know,” or “I don’t even know you,” and so on. When it happens, be ready with a joke (my favorite: “Come on, just write it down. I’ll only e-mail you every five minutes for the next month”) or be ready to move on to the next girl.
Remember, the goal here is to get as many e-mail addresses as possible to follow up on later, not to get as many dates as you can right there on the spot.
5. Avoid being classified as a “friend” at all costs
I can’t say it enough: If you act all shy and innocent and when you approach women, they’ll automatically slam-dunk you into the “possible friend” category, and you’re finished. They’ll assume that you’re just another major Wuss Boy.
That’s why it’s far better to make no excuses when you approach a woman. Come on with strength and confidence, and never try to disguise the fact that what you’re doing is approaching her for a date.
Pretending that you’re a nice guy who’s only starting an innocent conversation is the express route to her thinking of you as a “friend” and another evening of lonely self-touching.
4. Practice – then practice more
Like coach always said: The best offense if a good defense. And the best way to build one is to practice until it’s second nature.
In other words, don’t wait until you’re in the situation to realize that you don’t know how to handle something. Take some time to imagine exactly what it’s going to be like when you ask a woman for her e-mail/number. Imagine where you’ll do it, how you’re going to be standing. Practice what you’re going to say out loud, and imagine what she’s going to say back. Rehearse how you’re going to take out the pen and hand it to her, how you’re going to answer any objections that she gives you.
You’ll be amazed, after you practice enough, how smoothly and easily you’ll do it during the real deal.
3. Have your act together
How basic do we have to get here? You wouldn’t jump out of an airplane without making sure your gear was in order. That’s why, before you even try to approach a woman, you better make sure you have your act together.
Now don’t get me wrong; you don’t have to be James Bond, but you do need to have the principles of basic grooming down. Look clean and neat. Wear some decent clothes, nothing trendy or flashy. Just look like a regular guy who has his act together.
Beyond that, all you need are the basic tools for making a successful approach. A pen, some paper, a card, and guess what — you’re in business.
2. Don’t go for the goal line
This is such an important concept. When you’re getting a woman’s e-mail and number, do not try to win the whole game with a single toss. In other words, do not try to convince her to marry you right there on the spot. Don’t ask typical stupid questions like, “Do you have a boyfriend?” Don’t even ask her out.
Most guys make the mistake of talking themselves into rejection by going for it all. They go on and on about where they’ll go on a date, how much fun they’re going to have on the date and so on. But all of this just creates awkwardness, pressure and resistance, so don’t do it.
1. Make a fast exit
It’s the golden rule: The longer you talk when you approach a beautiful woman, the more opportunities you have to blow it with her. All that running off at the mouth just creates opportunities for mistakes, so remember, the only thing you want to do on approach is get her information. That’s all. Period.
Once you start talking, she’ll be looking for the smallest excuse to reject you — so make sure not to give it to her. Most women will give out their e-mail address after a minute of conversation, so you need to talk to her foronly that minute.
After you have her info, say, “I have to get back to my friends,” then turn and leave. This shows her that you have a life — and that you don’t need her reassurance like some kind of sad puppy. Then, once you have her info (and the info of about 20 or 30 other beautiful women too), call them back later at your leisure.